I found a company who is violating about 4 of my claims. But I like the direction they're going and I kind of wasn't going to sell it. So how would it go if I chose to work for them? do you think they even will go for that if I send them an email? They aren't the biggest company so they don't have 100's of millions to sue. But what would the legal situation be? Would the patent go to the company?
Going to work as an employee after you have gotten a patent on your own will not automatically give them any rights to your patent.
Beyond that it is not really on-topic here. My two cents -- Giving them a license in return for employing you might be one way for you benefit from the situation. If they recognize you as someone who is a leading inventor in the field it would give them access to your future improvements and developments.
You and they are free to negotiate any mutually agreeable arrangement including you being an employee or a consultant. You can negotiate some royalty or bonus system on top of a normal salary.
However, they might not agree that they infringe and might not see your future contributions as being particularity valuable. If the negotiations require them to acknowledge they are infringing it might be hard to get talks started.
Also - be careful and get help from an attorney before sending a ceases and desist letter. Unless it is very mildly and carefully worded it can open you up to being sued for declaratory judgement at a time and place of their choosing.